[Editor’s note: Read a response to Brian McLaren’s blog post here.]
A reader recently wrote to me: “I am writing a curriculum for my six home schooled kids and am addressing homosexuality … [and I am wondering if you think] we should accept homosexuals into Christian circles in the same way we accept men and women in unmarried sexual relationships, but with the goal of fellowshipping together with Jesus who would lead them to a life of dying to oneself rather than gratifying oneself.”
It’s pretty clear that the way many Christians respond to gay folks today is pretty far from what Jesus himself did or would do.
I think gay and straight folks are in the same boat — we all have to learn how to manage our sexual desires without becoming unhealthily repressed on the one hand and without becoming unhealthily obsessed on the other.
I think gay and straight folks have two moral options: celibacy and fidelity in the context of a committed relationship. (I would call it marriage, but others would rather not call it that for gay folks.)
It’s so good that you want to help your kids learn about human sexuality from you, since there’s so much harmful static they could take in from secular and religious sources.
If my kids were small today, I would tell them that most people are attracted to the opposite sex, but that some people — maybe three to six out of a hundred — are attracted to the same sex. I also might make a comparison to how most people are right-handed, but some are left-handed. I’d tell them most people start figuring that out when they’re teenagers, and they’ll be loved and accepted and safe either way. I’d tell them they can always talk to me about anything and ask any question.
I’d make sure to welcome gay folks in our home so our kids can get to know them as friends. I’d tell them how some people tease and make fun of gay people, and I’d urge them always to stand up for people who get teased … because God loves everyone and wants everyone to be safe and respected.
You might not see things just as I do, so you might take a different approach, but since you asked, I thought I’d share my approach. I’m confident that even if we differ, you’ll teach your kids that Jesus is our example in how to treat others, and his way is love … and that’s a huge step forward for all of us!
Brian McLaren is an author, speaker and activist who blogs at brianmclaren.net, where this blog originally appeared.